First,  you must spread a thick layer of peanut butter onto the white part of a  slice of bread. You can only spread the peanut butter on the white  part, and the white part only. You may only spread peanut butter on one  side. Spreading peanut butter on both sides will provide an inferior  sandwich. Next, you must spread a thick layer of jelly onto the white  part of a slice of bread. You can only spread the jelly on the white  part, and the white part only. You may only spread jelly on one side.  Spreading jelly on both sides will provide an inferior sandwich. You  cannot spread jelly onto the same slice of bread onto which you have  spread peanut butter. Also, you cannot spread peanut butter or jelly  onto more than one slice of bread, as this will provide an undesired  excess of either ingredient. Additionally, only peanut butter and jelly  can be spread onto these slices of bread; no other ingredient will  suffice, and no substitute can be used in a sandwich that is to be  legitimately recognized as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Likewise,  only bread may be the substance upon which the peanut butter and jelly  are spread, as anything else does not fit the standards of a peanut  butter and jelly sandwich; if the peanut butter and jelly are spread  onto a culinary medium that isn't bread, the meal at hand simply is not a  peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Once you have accomplished spreading a  thin layer of peanut butter onto the white of one side of one slice of  bread, and likewise has been accomplished using grape jelly on a  separate slice of bread, you must match the slices of bread up to each  other, forming a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In this scenario, the  peanut butter-covered face of bread must be facing the jelly-covered  face of the second slice of bread so that the peanut butter surface  touched the surface of the jelly. The surface of the peanut butter is  not allowed to touch a jelly-less substance of bread, resulting in the  jelly facing outwards, and likewise applies to the jelly. If a substance  is found facing on the outside of the sandwich, the product will not be  accepted as a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. The side with peanut  butter and the side with jelly on it must match up and stick together to  form one solid sandwich. When the eater picks up the sandwich, he or  she must hold both pieces of bread at the same time, or else one slice  will fall off, and eating only one slice of bread will not be recognized  as the same or even similar to eating a peanut butter and jelly  sandwich.

Next, you must take a  bite of the sandwich. This action will consist of moving the sandwich  within such a close proximity of your face that a small "bite" of the  sandwich will enter your mouth for you to mash up with your teeth. This  bite must be a bite that includes both slices of bread, peanut butter  and jelly. Make sure that all obstructions are clear from the mouth and  esophagus, not including peanut butter, jelly or bread or any  combination of said ingredients. If you have followed all previous  steps, this goal will be easily accomplished. Not doing so will create  an incorrect and inferior dining experience and thus will not be a  peanut and butter sandwich that is being eaten. However, if one  successfully gets both peanut butter and jelly in one bite that fits in  the mouth and does not result in choking, the dining experience is thus  far acceptable. For your complete experience with a peanut butter and  jelly sandwich to be considered complete and unobjectionable, you must  perform the previously mentioned series of taking bites of the sandwich,  chewing them, and swallowing them repeatedly until the entire sandwich  has been removed visible existence. These circumstances may only be  reached by eating the entire sandwich, and no parts of the sandwich may  be thrown away or given to somebody else. This is your sandwich, and  your responsibility. For the Dining experience to be completed, the  sandwich must be completely digested. In the context of completing the  process of consuming a legitimate peanut butter and jelly sandwich,  there are no extenuating circumstances. Actions such as vomiting,  surgical removal of the sandwich from the body, or placement of the  sandwich inside the lungs opposed to the esophagus will not be taken  into account, as they do not result in the complete digestion of a  peanut butter and jelly sandwich.